Regretfully

There has been a recent situation that I regretfully put myself into involving a woman who I consider a friend in the industry. I want to take a moment to sincerely apologize for the way I acted and the words that were exchanged. I am mortified by my behavior as it was not only completely inappropriate, but it was fueled by alcohol and depression. My younger brother committed suicide last year and ever since then I haven’t been myself. A tragedy like that is something I hope no one has to endure. Even though I’m aware that alcoholism runs in my family, I have been using it to cope with the pain that I feel every day. It’s compounded my depression and clearly clouded my common sense and dignity.


Contrary to what I drunkenly typed, I have nothing but respect for this person. She has always been a positive ray of sunshine and I got very carried away in a conversation that I never should have started. Just because someone is nice to me doesn’t mean I can act inappropriately or say whatever I want to them. Especially since I have been such an advocate of women in games and treating everyone with the same level of respect and decency. I was a complete hypocrite and I am more mad at myself than anyone else will ever be with me. Since the other night, I have taken the steps to get into therapy to deal with the loss of my brother as well as regular AA meetings to deal with my self destruction.


I want to be perfectly clear, I’m not using my brother as a scapegoat to give me cart blanche or excuse my behavior. I know that women in the industry have to deal with these sorts of things every day and I hate myself for adding to it. What I did was completely wrong and something that I, myself, take responsibility for. I only bring up my own depression and loss to try to find the root of my poor choices.


Once again, I am terribly sorry. All I’ve ever wanted to be is a positive influence and I let my metal health and alcohol abuse get the best of me.

-Josh

75 notes

  1. tinyviolins reblogged this from madelinelime
  2. pitbullgirl65 reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    How odd that I’ve managed to treat people with dignity and respect after my fathers suicide. Anyway, don’t worry Josh:...
  3. themadkinglives reblogged this from 101st-analborne
  4. 101st-analborne reblogged this from bleepingmadness
  5. thetigerwithaspeechimpediment reblogged this from madelinelime
  6. wehatesand reblogged this from steampunkgrey and added:
    He’s done number 3. He stepped down from leading his team.
  7. steampunkgrey reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    If you are sincerely sorry for your deplorable behavior, you need to do the following. 1. Publicly apologize, which...
  8. sailorgyaru reblogged this from madelinelime
  9. madelinelime reblogged this from thehappydweenle and added:
    For more information on why this isn’t a very sincere apology for sexual harassment, see the Kotaku article here.
  10. dariusardenkara reblogged this from joshmattingly
  11. feelcollins reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    i’ll kiss u on the vagina if u do
  12. romondo reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    i hope that you make a full recovery and get over your brothers suicide and that you can one day return to indiestatik...
  13. ultramegahitler reblogged this from joshmattingly
  14. goddamnwhyispatricksothundergod reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    Blaming it on alcohol and depression isn’t cool, dude. It’s like Rob Ford blaming his crack usage on “being in a drunken...
  15. thehappydweenle reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    Protip: When apologizing for sexually harassing someone, just fucking apologize and leave out the “but I’m in pain, too”...
  16. daggerss reblogged this from craaag and added:
    The two times I’ve heard alcoholism used as the sole excuse for behavior were for rape and sexual assault.
  17. phantasia-phantasia reblogged this from joshmattingly
  18. nicktatorship reblogged this from pakuska
  19. sonofdanaus reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    tldr “I’m a dumb fuck and I will not do this again. Sorry” would have been better than blaming your dead(condolences)...
  20. likearadiowave reblogged this from pakuska
  21. pakuska reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    Only thing this asshole is sorry about is that it got out into the world. Hes trying to save himself and his shitty...
  22. gamesmotherfucker reblogged this from joshmattingly and added:
    I understand and therapy is a good decision.
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